B2B Community Builder Show (formerly Chief Executive Connector)

123 | Your “Tags” Are Limiting Your Brand w/ Bee Evans

July 08, 2021 Pablo Gonzalez / Bee Evans Season 3 Episode 123
B2B Community Builder Show (formerly Chief Executive Connector)
123 | Your “Tags” Are Limiting Your Brand w/ Bee Evans
Show Notes Transcript

I met Bee Evan’s on a call on Clubhouse and her ability to explain personal branding, plus her ability to tune directly into what the audience was asking, made me immediately want to have a deep conversation with her.

Bee Evans is the founder of EMBLDN Label and host of TearOut the Tags, The Podcast. She will help you recognize that you’re payingattention to the false labels that other people have given you, and sometimes,that you’ve given yourself. When you learn to remove the labels that areholding you back, you can live emboldened and embolden others. 

Connect with Bee!

www.tearoutthetags.com

Connect with ME!

Also, I'd love it if you connected with me on LinkedIn or Instagram.

Or shoot me an email at youshould@connectwithpablo.com with the "Heard CEC's Bee" in subject.

This that's a genius email address?  Me too, but I didn't come up with it.  It was the idea of my good friend, and super talented web designer, Nathan Ruff.

If you want your website redone, updated, and managed with unlimited updates for just $250/month (CRAZY GOOD DEAL RIGHT??), go to Manage My Website and hookup with one of the smartest, most talented guys I've ever met- THE Nathan Ruff.



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Bee:

My name is Dee Evans, host of tear out the tags, the podcast, and I met Pablo on clubhouse and he is an advice man, monster. And I am a me monster. You should connect with Pablo because he is a great person who asks really interesting questions.

Pablo:

Welcome back to the chief executive connector podcast. I am Pablo Gonzalez, your host and chief executive connector. Today. We have my new friend from clubhouse B Evans, who is the founder of emboldened label and the host of the, of the tags podcast. She will help you record that. You're paying attention to the false labels that other people have given you. And sometimes that you've given yourself. When you learn to remove the labels that are holding you back, you can live in Bolden and embolden others. When I first heard be talking about this stuff on clubhouse eight was like a lightning bolt that hit me cause I'm somebody that has always categorized things in my life. Be it good or bad categorize people around me. I put them into buckets. I, I feel that I'm very naturally judgemental and for better, for worse I've, I've kind of had to, you know, steer through. And now as I get more and more into category design and the power of like the way that the brain categorizes stuff, I just really, really wanted to dive into this with B. So be super pumped to have you here. Welcome to the sure.

Bee:

Thank you for having me. I can't wait to jump into this conversation.

Pablo:

Yeah, me neither. Me neither be, as I warned you about 30 seconds ago, my beginning question, right? Like since this is all about connecting and I want the person that is hanging out with us, listening in her ear, his ear to see you and connect with you as quickly as possible so that they can really learn from you is that you add that you connect with people by either adding value, which we're about to do or sharing a vulnerability. Right? Cause I think people, when they see themselves in your struggle, they, they, they connect with you easier. So I ask all my, all my guests to share something that they're struggling with to get the ball rolling, and then we'll get into your superpowers and you'll see much more.

Bee:

Yeah, definitely. So it's interesting. My entire mission in life is to show people that they can tear out these tags, these labels that we're wearing that hold us back so we can chase new goals and new dreams, or even sometimes those old dreams that maybe you scrolled up and shoved down and your fingers and toes, and are hidden for no one to see. Right. and so recently I decided to try out for the Denver Bronco cheerleaders. I was a professional cheerleader about 12 years ago. So I did it for three years. So imagine 15 years ago, I was starting this journey of auditioning for these teams. Here I am, again, I'm 34 years old. I have two kids. I am tearing out the tag to old and many other tags that are, you know, I'm having to confront as I run through this process. But one of the things I found really interesting is in my platform, it really causes heat and upset from certain people. So I am getting suddenly some unwanted male advances, and I am also getting some hate from some of my female audiences. And so it's interesting because I went to a mentor who I really respect and brought this problem to say, okay, I'm doing this thing. And the point of me doing it is to really show people that I am willing to put myself outside of my comfort zone. I'm willing to do the hard things I'm re I'm willing to be vulnerable and face. What's scary to me. It's causing all of this, like all these waves and is what I'm doing wrong. Am I being too sexy? Am I showing up to this, to that? And it's interesting. I find this conversation a lot with women that we always kind of feel like we can't find a balance. There were either too much or too little of, of whatever it is. and so this mentor actually gave me, in my opinion, some really poor advice and the advice was really to show up smaller and maybe my physicality makes me seem less intelligent and maybe I need to wear less makeup and things that made me feel like, okay, I'm the lady who teaches about tearing out the tags. And you're telling me to hide a portion of my life because it's making other people uncomfortable. So my struggle right now, believe it or not is within my own content. Right. I am my own avatar. So I am facing the discomfort of. Gosh, this does not feel good. I'm doing something that I'm wanting to inspire people with. And all I'm doing is really upsetting kind of my life system behind the scenes. So that is my struggle.

Pablo:

That is super interesting. When you say that, I think of a couple of things I can't help, but think of the impossible kind of double standard that women have to live through. Right? Like I, I, as, as the youngest person in my family and the most American person in my family with an older sister that had always bestowed upon her, this like ridiculous, Hispanic, double standard for male and female have always just kinda like railed against it because that's what I saw my sister doing forever. And I will, you know, I will forever rail against it, but I also think of the idea that sometimes the people that love us the most or the people closest to us. Have different priorities for us than we have for ourselves. And when you are going through a growth, a challenge period that you have bestowed upon yourself in order to grow often, the people that you love the most, their priority is to keep you safe and to keep you comfortable and you get some really bad

Bee:

advice. Well, and sometimes we hand our tags to others when they're looking for direction and advice without realizing it. And I think that's why this conversation about labeling people is so important because maybe I'm actually making my mentor uncomfortable or maybe my mentor judges, people who do the things that I'm doing, which gives them a little bit of a block around how they can move you forward. So if you're someone who's going to, someone you love for advice, which we all do, you're really listening. To the tags, you're really paying attention to the implicate, you know, the implied conversation, the implied labels that they're handing you.

Pablo:

How can one? All right. So man, that's so that's so deep. So quick. Is your mentor a male or female?

Bee:

I have, I have several of both. And I've been very intentional about this, this particular set of, of struggle. I have three male mentors that I asked. I actually have a fourth that I asked this morning. but I was very, it was really important to me to get male advice on the. Now on the male female audience component. So we're going really deep here, sorry, but I am really dedicated to having a female and male audience. I am a strong believer that we have female development and male development, very separate and women are leading women and men are leading men. And in the meantime, the division between us relationally and you're married and I'm married. So, you know, we have that line of understanding of a female male connection and communication, but we have female male relationships in our vocations, in our churches, in our communities in. And relationships with our children. Right. I have a son, I have to know how to connect with him as a male. So I feel so strongly that I don't want to tear out the tags to be a female empowerment, rah, rah, kumbaya brand. I really want to have conversations that bring us together as humans and the human connection like we were talking about right before you pushed record. So I wanted to get male advice on this because I really want to know if I have a blind spot there, if I'm being naive, right. That tag naive is, is it inside of me to say, no, I'm not going to be able to speak to men because of X, Y, and Z.

Pablo:

I couldn't agree with you more, right? Like I'm I'm all in on this idea. I think that what separates me from, it's not even about me. Right. But like, I connect with guys that have older sisters, because they have a certain sense of balance of male and female. Right? Like I like as much as I've been a raging frat guy in my life, like there's, there's also, you know, there's the idea that I know that guys that grew up with only brothers don't understand a certain amount of balance that comes from female energy. Right. But I gotta ask is gender attack? Oh yeah. And how does that, so, so, okay. So then, so then let's go deeper then let's, let's talk about what represents a tag, how it plays out, like, give me a little bit of holistic view of this subject and educate us.

Bee:

Yeah, definitely. So, you know, the basis of my idea, cause that's how all of these micro niches start, you know, we were, we were talking about this before we started as well, which I'm sure we'll get more into the categories. I was working in the oil and gas industry as a young female, very male dominant space. I had to show up a very specific way. So some of that specific way would be being strong and being. You know, I might drop an F bomb at work. You know, I kind of run with the boys, right. Fit in and also be feminine and dainty and like pleasing in a way. So all of those that I just gave you are tags. And then at the same time I was dancing in the NBA. So I would go from my day job in oil and gas to the hair and the makeup and the unity and this image of, you know I would say like a sparkle, you know, we're there to really. Represent an image for the brand. And it's very much a brand. You, you, you show up and you kind of put the inside of you on hold and you smile. Even if you're having a terrible day and you interact with fans, even if the fans are super drunk, you know what I mean? Whatever it is, you are there to represent this brand. And so I would go between those two things. And meanwhile, the inside of me was never really seen. I felt like people would just kind of make judgements and assumptions based on both roles and all the judgements and assumptions and assumptions were very different. But in the meantime, the inner part of me was kind of just adopting all of these labels like, oh, well this must be who I am, because this is what people see in me. And when you're young, you don't know any better. and I think oftentimes even when we get into our forties, fifties, and sixties, we still don't know any better. Cause we're so used to letting people attach these labels to us. So about two years ago, I got an opportunity to do an executive coaching. I would almost call it an internship, but it was really a mentor who poured into me who saw something special in me, saw me through a lens that I didn't own the glasses for. And he started just developing me. And so within about six months of him really coaching me and his wife also just completely taking me under their wings. They let me, co-facilitate a training program for a group of vice presidents at one of the largest corporations in America. So I was told. You're ready. You are natural. You've got this. Like you you'd have nothing to worry about. They were so confident in me. The only rule was I had to wear a business suit. Well, I had never worn a business suit. I was in oil and gas, you know, ripped jeans and cowboy boots were my jam. And so I was like, cool. I can do that. I can get a business suit. So I fly to LA. I put my business suit on the morning of, I am ready to just crush the day. And it was one of those moments where like, imagine an NBA player, like running through the tunnel for their first game for the first time, right. Where you're like the music starts and you're hyped up. And you're like, my life could change because of this. And these people are giving me an opportunity of a lifetime and. I felt so good. Oh my gosh. I felt so good. And then I drove to the facility and you know, it's a massive campus, very intimidating. I scanned through security. I've got my badge. It's more formal than anything I've ever done in my life. I get on the executive elevator. And then the tag on the back of my blazer that is this big, massive embroidered tag starts itching the back of my neck and suddenly with the itch and the irritation and the, you know, the sort of discomfort of like, how do I get this out of my, you know, out of my brain right now, the negative self-talk started. So it was like, why would anyone ask you to do this? You aren't smart enough to be in this room. You're too young. People are going to discount you, you name the negative thought it was there. And I just realized through the whole day as that itch kept. You know, persisting that this was really a metaphor of how we pick up these labels in our lives. And I am full of them clearly, you know, like all the negative self-talk was there and I fought it all day long in order to succeed and achieve in that setting. And thank goodness I did because I'm the type of person that if I had crashed and burned, I would have cried driving back to my hotel room and I would have never done it again. Right. I would've just sort of shut down and said, gosh, you know, they should not have given me that opportunity.

Pablo:

Yeah. What a story man. And what a metaphor to wrap it all in. And what a, what an example of how the most innocuous thing that is affecting you when you're going through something that is completely different, can turn into a pivotal moment of a thesis that you now base all of your methodology and your business around and your speaking points in your life. Man. That's really, really cool. From from there to having a formulated, I mean, is there, is there like a tag ecology Institute? Like, did you, I mean, are you like, w we talked about, I was telling about category design, right? Like, instead of, instead of competing in somebody else's space, instead of competing in executive coaching, instead of competing in life coaching, instead of competing in you know, therapy or whatever, you've created this, this space around tags and what tags mean outside of that moment, did you then go on to like, look at literature? Did you judge then iterate through and then start trying to like, build a list of other things that are like this to, to, to build this whole formulated framework around this stuff?

Bee:

You know, I do, to an extent, but there's a huge part of me that is here to say that in itself is a category that in itself is labeling. Then my content. So I will tell people, oftentimes like, I'll start to explain this and I'm going to call it crazy. And that's such a tag, but my brain works in a really unique way. Right. And I realized that I realized I'm different. I think different. I see the world different. I see beauty different. That's probably one of the biggest things about me that, you know, when I see a beautiful human, it has nothing to do with what most people think of when they see beauty. And so within about four seconds of someone hearing tear out the tags, they'll go, oh, that's like Rachel Hollis. And I'm like, how would you know that you didn't listen to what I said? And you didn't ask any questions. And PS, Rachel Hollis is huge and on a whole nother level and has been doing this for probably 20 years. And it's so funny how quickly I will get that tag of Rachel Hollis or, you know, a Tony Robins or someone who's, by the way, very intimidating to be compared to. Yeah. So in a lot of ways the way that I explain this, as I feel in personal development, and this is just my walk with it, we're having two conversations. One is about limiting beliefs and the like what's holding you back conversation. And the other one is mental health and anxiety and depression. And some of these hard things that we walk through in our lives, as we face trauma and we get fired from our jobs and we live through pandemics and we get divorces and whatever the things are that we're going through in our life that really triggered these hard hardships that we go through. But in the middle of all of that is really just a bunch of words. And the words are the way that we describe ourselves. And those words are defined within us. Most of the time, we don't know how they're defined because we haven't taken the time to slow down and really like, have a conversation with ourselves about why we are telling ourselves we're not smart or why we're telling ourselves that if you don't have a master's degree, you can not go apply for some job. Right. So whatever that is, that's like the Ms. Wiring in our brains where we're not believing in ourselves or we're not enduring to be something we want to be, it really comes down to this basic principle that there's a word that we have either missed, defined, or that needs to be pulled out of us. Hmm.

Pablo:

That makes a lot of sense. So then, all right. So then coming back to how we got into this rabbit hole, is gender a tag? I'm going to ask a harder question. Do you think that females struggle with this more than males? Is it male struggled with it more than females? Is it even in your perspective?

Bee:

Ooh, this is a good question. Okay. I think females struggle more with it openly, I think, as a woman. and I grew up in a fairly male a fairly, I would say actually a fairly old school mentality, like toughen up buttercup, you got this, you know there wasn't a lot of struggle growing up as far as like, my parents are still married and you know, like my brother and I fought once in a while, like I didn't have the major struggle that some people went through as a child. And so I learned as I kind of came into my personal development space when I went through a divorce and I started kind of going through some of my own hardship. It's much more accepted in our society for women to openly have conversations about the things that we're walking through and women do. We get, we get labeled in ways that I believe are very different than the way men do. And I do think there are a lot of double standards for women. And I'm not saying there aren't double standards for men, but as a female, I can say for sure, there are some things that are, that are really difficult to walk through, especially in business. you know, just kind of having that seat at the table, so to speak. However, I think that women also have a tendency to be victims because we are in that minority of people who are trying to gain authority. And so it's a very, very hard balance to walk around through life saying, you know, people call me this and people call me this and people call me that and it's not fair. Wow. If I'm doing that, I'm the bully. So I'm actually choosing to attach those tags. I'm actually choosing to let someone have authority over me. So there's a balance there when it comes to men, I think men are getting left behind. I think that. When I really see the powerhouse men that I know in public speaking and in podcasting and content creation, most of what is work done is business and leadership and success and achievement. There are some great dad resources out there, but they're there, they're on the rise. there's a little bit in the marriage space and relationship, ship space. very little in the spirituality space. That's geared towards men. but overall, I feel like it's a, it's a very different conversation. Women are sort of talking about everything like top to bottom left to right. Let's pull your life apart and tell you what to do better and what to let go of. And it's just, this it's almost too much. And then on the male perspective, I think that we are not including men in on the conversation. No, my answer. Sorry. I didn't really answer. I think it's even, I think every human walking, the planet who has a tendency to want and seek connection and has a tendency to let people influence them, has tags.

Pablo:

Yeah. I'm listen. I'm really hearing what you're saying. I, I think about, I think about how much my life is informed by female struggle, right from my sister growing up to not that we, same thing. We very happy family got along. Great. My parents are still together. I didn't have a problem. I didn't create for myself till I was in my mid early thirties, you know? Um, But I think about, I think about that railing against the double standard, then I think about living the experience of my wife overcoming trauma from her youth in front of me, which is, what's kind of pushed me to confront my own demons because I remember at a certain moment she's going through all this like high growth period and confronting all this, like past trauma. And she was giving me some feedback and I was just like, oh listen, man. Like, just cause you're trying to overcome some stuff. Doesn't mean you've got to hold me to that standard. Cause I'm good. Like I'm happy. Like, you know, like, and then listen to myself, hear that shit, you know? Like say that's not uncommon though. Yeah. And I think that that's the guy move, right? Like that is, that is the, oh, well you're just struggling. I'm not struggling. It's not, it's not me, man. So don't point that don't point that like internal locus of, of, of wanting to better yourself on me because I'm good enough already. Or, or at least I'm not outwardly struggling in any way. And I think about the, the idea that confronting tags often comes at the point of struggle, right? Like if, like, if you, if you've been giving a tag and shit's good because of your tag, you don't really want to confront it. Right. Like I, like, I think about guys right now, I'm thinking the white male is being left behind the, this, right. Like nobody can, you know the, the prototypical white guy never confronted that tag in any way until it started becoming villainized in some way that they feel is now unfair to them. And vice versa is our tags. I mean, am I hitting on something here? Are our tags most apparent or is the negative effect of tags really? Only palpable once you get into struggle. And is there any way to confront that before confronting the struggle?

Bee:

Yeah. I want to say no that it doesn't require struggle. I definitely think it's more common though. I think when we've gone through a period of hardship or trauma, it's, we have to find a way to the top of the mountain. Again, we have to find a way to climb that healing to whatever it is for me, it was resilience for me. I was like this broken person coming out of a divorce with two kids, strapped to my back, climbing this mountain towards resilience. And that was a hard climb. Let me tell you and you know, it's interesting you bring up like the, the, the white man. Who's not confronting his tags. I want to. Zone in on leadership. So take a CEO who is high, competitive high take charge, high sense of urgency, high objectivity, high independence. Like they have a very strong personality. They're in the top 4% of the us working population, as far as their ability to achieve and climb and move and grow. And like, they are not hung up on you panning them attack. They literally could care less. So I, and you know, we work with leaders all the time that want to sort of pick on the next level below them as why there are problems in the organization, but rarely do you see a leader that says, okay, I don't get it. I've achieved everything that I've ever wanted. I've built this massively successful company, but I must be doing something wrong because my people are mess Right. You rarely, rarely meet that leader. And the reason is that person is the tagger. That person is moving through life so quickly. They're not worried about upsetting you, they're not worried about competing with you. They've already beat you two football fields ago. When you were thinking about hiking, the ball, they are so wired to move and to like just chase all the things they're hungry, that they don't realize how many tags they're actually leaving behind them. And all of the crap that everyone beneath them is having to like shoulder and sort through. And so I find it really interesting. I, I like to paint it, like, imagine you walk into a Walmart today and there is a gal working at Walmart maybe six months ago. She lost her job in corporate America that she loves. And she is not happy about the fact that she is working in Walmart during a pandemic, right? Maybe she's embarrassed to be working in a Walmart because of judgments. She had about people in her life. So she's got all these tags herself or she's whatever, dealing with her own trauma. So she is the tagger. She is marking up, you know, she's marking the product, she's merchandising the store and you happen to run into her and you upset her. And this happens in our world all the time, right? Customer service conflicts, where someone's really upset and maybe it's the customer the opposite. But so you're the shopper you're in there. And you're just shopping for a product. You're just looking for a few things that you need for that day, but you are seeking a product. So when that interaction hits, it's like fireworks because she's upset and she's all of her, her stuff that she's carrying is now sort of like dumped over onto you as she tags you. And you're shopping, you're open and you're seeking this product, you're seeking this relationship. So all of a sudden you're handed. I can imagine her just handing you like a bucket of tags. And you're like, oh, okay. Like, I guess I can help you out here. But we actually do this in our interactions and relationships through our lives all the time, but we don't realize it because I'm not actually handing Pablo a tag that says get out of my way. I'm having a bad day and you are irritating or whatever, whatever it is that like that exchange happens. And you aren't actually accepting that tag and going, oh yeah, sure. I'll attach this tag. I'm irritating. But, but you're, you're subconsciously attaching stuff like this all the time.

Pablo:

As you, as you talk about this, I think about boundaries. I think about the idea that. We're very comfortable in these like predefined boundaries. And as soon as somebody steps outside of this boundary, then it starts overflowing into your own boundary. Right? I think of like Brennan's brown definition of like the perfect boundary being the perfect distance where I can love you and love myself. the same. What's the, what's the difference between tags and giving somebody a tag and holding boundaries with people or letting people I guess, violate your boundaries.

Bee:

So I think it's interesting because tags can also be a core value or a personality trait. So you had described to me before we hit record that you're someone who you love making friends. You're just, you're like a hyper connector person who just thrives on people's stories and their power and energy and all the great things I would call you an extra. Yeah. Is that a tag that you okay, cool.

Pablo:

Hiding on extrovert, right? Yeah.

Bee:

I am too first started connecting. I was like, wow, we are so similar. so I am an expert I'm 96% extroverted. I quite literally need human contact to be happy. It's I am actually selfish because I'm actually getting my, like my good stuff from you. It's like, I'm sucking the energy out of you because I selfishly need that. Right. And so when we look at personality traits, we then can see how our personality traits cause us to interact in the world. So I have. The six things written on most tags, which is they're kind of categories where we can find our initial tags and I it's I'll quickly go through them. And then we can dive in if you want to go any deeper. The first thing written on every tag is brand, right? It's the brand name. It's the way you're externally taken in. It's the way someone judges you based on kind of that first interaction. The second is size and size is so relevant for men and women. We, as women believe it's just a conversation for us, but it's not it's height, weight it's are, are, are, you know, like it's the space that we take up. It's the way that we kind of carry ourselves. the third is origin. Origin is the checklist of expectations you grew up with. Where were you born? Where were you made? What did your family system expect for you to be? And how much did you follow that? Or buck that convention? The fourth is material and that's, they're really unique personality traits that make us uniquely us. So some of those personality traits are harsher than others. Some of them are stronger than others. And so that is where my extrovert causes me to really pick up more tags because I'm relational. Like I care what you think about me. And I used to think people who said they didn't care. What people thought of them were full of crap. But I now realize no, those people aren't wired like me. And there are actually people that could care less what others think of them. I'm just not one of them. So then the fifth thing written on most tags is care instructions. And this was what was the conversation of self-talk that you were raised with and who was the model of that? And was it positive or negative? And then the sixth and final thing is foreign language. So usually you will find care instructions written in a foreign language, on a tag that's sewn into your shirt. Foreign language is by far and large where the majority of my tags show up. And this is really it's, it's imagined it's a conversation that shouldn't, or doesn't make sense to you. So it could be a stranger saying something crappy to you. It could be a family member who's sort of persistently. Tags you with something negative. it can even be, and this is funny because this is totally me. it can be a group of strangers talking about someone who has a similar role or trait to your life. And you actually attach a tag because you hear a group of strangers talking bad about someone who's like you, which is, I know that's, I'm not proud of it, but I am. I'm like that. I will hear someone talking crap about MBA dancers and I was an MBA dancer. So then I think, well, everyone must think this about MBA dancers and there goes the tag. So it was a long explanation, but that's okay. Well, I

Pablo:

love it. I love it. That was really, that was really cool. Like, as you, as you were going through that, I'm like, Ooh, ah, you know, like I'm like at different points, I'm identifying with different things and right when you got to nationality or ethnicity, what w when or whatever that tag is.

Bee:

I fit the origin, the

Pablo:

origin. So yesterday I got my first COVID vaccine. And as I'm going through, this is a total sidebar just cause I think it's funny, but as, as I, as I'm going through like the process and they're like, you know, the nurses look at your thing and they're like, Pablo Gonzalez. Yup. Address. Yep. A phone number. Yep. I've checked the, the box of Hispanic, not Hispanic, Hispanic, and I've checked the white, black, whatever, whatever as white ma you know, a million times, because I live in the U S and we're obsessed with like this, like demographics and whatever. Right. I've never had somebody actually double-check that on me and see to me so white. And it happened three times. Cause it was like three checkpoints and I'm like, first guy that said he's like, so a problems, oh, his phone number, blah, blah, blah, white, Hispanic. I'm like, yeah. And then the next one they're like white, Hispanic, you're sure you're white, Hispanic. And it just hit me in this. It hit me in the weirdest way, man. But like, I, you know, as I'm, as I'm going through your tags, I think of a matrix. And I think of, you know, the tags on the side and then all these other factors that play into your life kind of determine how much each one of those categories in each one of those points of the tag affect you. Right? Like size as a guy, as long as I'm not like five, four, and as long as I'm not, you know, like whatever, rightly you know, like, like I'm just saying, like I say, as a guy, right? Like I think guys somewhere between like five nine to like 600. Don't care. Tall guys love being tall, but like, it's, it's all good. Whereas like for a woman size is so like, there's like this one size that they want to be and that's it. And then I think of when you're talking about origin, like I think of yes, as a traditional Hispanic family that I came from, that origin piece really affects me. And I really carry that with me a lot. And it's been, you know, figuring out in my late twenties, early thirties where that origin ends and where I begin and, and you know, like what parts of that I want to bring with me and what parts of that I want to leave behind. It's kind of like my twenties. Right. And I, and I, and I feel like as I talk to people, cause my last question that I ask people is what were you sure about in your twenties that you no longer believe it's N the twenties is kind of that period that you decide, which one of these tags you. Carry with you that you've had forever. And which one of these tags aren't you and what tag you want to give yourself going into your thirties? Right? Like,

Bee:

well, and I think that origin category and those, that initial checklist of expectations, it's not always voiced. So being from where you're from comes with a culture, it comes with a mindset. It comes with a level of education of the world level of view, right? So I grew up in Douglas, Wyoming in a very white bread community in a blue collar Republican setting. I mean, there were 3000 people in my town, so we didn't travel the world. My folks weren't flying us to Europe every summer. We were, we had a very limited view of the world. And so I would imagine that my checklist of assumptions that I made through my life of what I needed to be was probably quite different than yours. Is that correct?

Pablo:

For sure. For sure. Right. Like I moved around three different continents before I was 10 years old. My first formative memory is walking into preschool was the only kid that didn't speak English. Right. Like, yeah, totally. Yeah. A hundred percent.

Bee:

Yeah. And at the center of that are a lot of voices that are saying, this is who we are as a family. So you're right. We get to an age where we go, wait a second. I'm not that, so what am I? I have no idea, you know? Cause you don't really have that exploration ability when you're growing up. Cause you, you have to kind of sit in line, you know? Yeah. So,

Pablo:

you know, I, man, I find it, I kind of want to go down this rabbit hole with you. I would love to get to brands, but I I'm, I can't help myself, but go down this rabbit hole of. Within these tags. I think there is this very dangerous tag out there. That is the idea that in order to change something, you need to be an extreme pain, right? Like there's, there's so many people out there talking about rags to riches, man, my last, my last thousand books, I spent on a Tony Robbins program and now I'm rich, you know, like, and I, and, and, and being brought up around affluence, I find that there is so many people that are suffering that are living a really comfortable life because they've had a lot of it handed to them and they've just been able to maintain and do okay. But it's not what they wanted. So they're like miserable inside yet living on an outwardly comfortable life. And they think that the only option is to like throw it away and go join the circus to like, as shoe, everything that was given to them and start a new, when I think that in reality, All you need to have is a tough conversation with yourself of like, no, no, no. This is just where, where this ends and where I begin and what do I want to keep? And what do I want to, what do I want to start over with? And you don't have to throw it all away, right? Like you can, you can just start incorporating things until in a few years, you're a completely different person. on a completely different setup

Bee:

Well, and it's a lot about filling in the gaps. So my mentor, one of my mentors, Janet McCracken, she said, you have to fill in the gaps. And I, I really hated that. I was like, why do I owe people an explanation about who I am and who I'm changing into? And if I don't know who I'm changing into, how do I fill the gaps in? But what I realize is when you are so used to showing up the same way, and you're so used to allowing people to tag you, if I didn't fill in the gaps. I'm not learning who I'm becoming and I'm not holding authority over the change that I'm looking for in my life or the, the development of what I'm moving into. So you had kind of mentioned there, so there's, there's so much that you just said that I was just like, oh, you just saw like every part of the inside of me, like every part of my soul, you just like connected to. So being in oil and gas, I was in a family business and I was very much a shadow underneath two, very powerful and successful parents who were very high achievers. Now I learned a ton about business and I'm very, very good at it, but I never saw that because for me, it was always, I was a beneficiary of that and side note I'm not passionate about pipes and fittings and getting oil out of the ground. You know, there's, it's necessary. It's a great industry. I have nothing negative to say about it, but I didn't even know that I could do that, that I had talents that were so easy that I, oh my gosh, I had to work 10 times harder to do the job I did for 18 years because it wasn't a natural fit for me. I was just sort of plugged in where, you know, let's, let's try this and do that and whatever. And I was kind of just navigating through these, these roles that weren't, they weren't me. It was, I was just satisfying, you know, the needs of others. And then the same thing goes for being a Phoenix suns dancer. So I grew up with a lot of beauty issues. So a lot of women will say body image issues. I wouldn't say that I felt uncomfortable in my body, but I felt uncomfortable in my skin. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't have. Like I didn't have that self confidence. So then as I went through being a cheerleader and a dancer and a figure skater and a softball player, and like kind of the athletics of high school and, you know, your early twenties, I, I just was, I kind of had this false confidence about me because inside, I just was a really insecure woman. And then when I became a suns dancer, I learned sort of what, what does a beautiful woman look like? And I did it and I was like, oh, this feels good. And I confident, but inside, I still was that really insecure tomboy little girl that felt like kind of an imposter. Like I'm not really beautiful. I'm just kind of in this brand. So there's all this confusion in all of that, because at the center of this is like you come from an affluent family. Who are teachers, you know, like, I mean, my parents were so on point with parenting, we had great values. We knew how to treat people. We knew how to create relationship. We knew how to manage money. We knew how to build businesses, but at the center of that, I had no actual value because it was my family's world that I was living in. And the same thing goes for like that body image piece. Now I will tell you, I do twist balloon animals. So maybe I did go the circus route, but I totally agree with you that, you know, it's, it starts with one thing at a time. So a tag that I had to really pull up and deal with was actually the tag cheerleader, because I grew up an athlete and I became a cheerleader in high school. And it was something that a lot of people didn't respect. I was objectified as a dancer and cheerleader by men at times. I was, I had teachers say crappy things to me about being a paper sheet. I actually had a celebrity shake my pompoms in my face and make fun of me and then kind of toss them at my body. so I had all these like mockery type things, like stories that had made me decide that being a professional cheerleader was actually an embarrassment and not an accomplishment. So for 12 years I told nobody that I was a professional, former professional cheerleader. And one day I had a coworker say, why don't you tell anyone that you did this? It's so cool. And I kind of was like taken aback. I said, well, it's not cool. It's, it's actually something that not many people respect. And she was blown away by that. She was like, I don't understand, like, how can you feel that way about this? And so I started kind of sharing with her, some of them. Some of those stories. And in fact, one of our other coworkers at the time he sent me a text message with a contact, like my contact profile. And he said, I set your contact up in my phone. So I'm all set. Now, remember I'm one of the owners of this company. So he is my employee and it is a picture of a swimsuit calendar that I did when I was a Phoenix suns dancer. And it is inappropriately placed where he is framed certain parts of my body in my contact information. And so I was just sharing with her, some of these things that I had been through that really made me feel shame for. You know, this thing that maybe she saw as an accomplishment. So I had to pull this tag cheerleader up and really deal with it and deal with the way that I define it and the way that I feel like other people define it. And the way that I now want to define it in my life and trying out for the Denver Broncos is actually a big healing thing for me, because I'm now wearing the tag cheerleader in such a positive way. And I'm really excited. I have no expectation that I'm actually going to make this team. I'm not, you know, I'm not hindering on making sure this happens. It's just such a cool experience. But if I make it, it will be such a huge win for me to go and do it again, wearing that tag correctly.

Pablo:

Awesome. Awesome, awesome story. I really liked that. I got to ask as a sports nerd, was this like the Nash Amara started sons, is that correct?

Bee:

Yes. Yeah. I love it. You know that? Yep. Shack,

Pablo:

grant hill. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's great. That's a really that's, that was a really incredible franchise. So I'm a huge heat fan, right? So like Shaq left the heat to go, to, to go to the suns and like Nash got that MVP of the year that I thought shack should have gotten it kind of stuff. So

Bee:

they're going to be a fan. It was a good time to be in that world. For sure.

Pablo:

I bet at that there was an interesting time in that world, man. That's really cool. all right. Let's talk. That story is fascinating. Let's let's let's talk branding, right? Like we just kind of, we both kind of said, we both have this idea of each other, that the other one is really into personal branding and not feel like we're kind of just both like, have been made, put into this personal branding space. what's the, you know, brand is something that in business is good, right? And a brand is a tag right? Like category design is giving yourself a tag that people can, can, can figure out, figure out how you can help them easily so that they can categorize you in a certain way that facilitates your business. In your personal life, what is can you, can you give me an example of a good way to tag yourself? Is it, is it, is it the story of you embracing being a cheerleader and, and changing the narrative from the shameful thing to no, I'm a cheerleader because what I do is I love people and I cheer for them. Like, is that, can you give me something, something around that?

Bee:

I struggle with this so much because my content is so don't, don't like have, so when I think of personal branding and we can totally and this is gonna be an interesting conversation, but I have been told in this content creation and you know, this public speaking industry to really pick like five things that you're sharing about your PR that they're sharing about you, that you can really connect with other people on, or, you know, you, you do, you're supposed to kind of have this very easily boxed in. Like five word sentence that tells people exactly what you do. And I think that's important. I do think it's important because you have one opportunity to sort of allow somebody to understand this. I mean, we're, we, I don't know how far we are in the conversation here, but it's not an easy concept to just be like X, Y, Z, we're done. Boom. You get it. Cool. Let's rock. so I think it's important, but as a person in my personal space, I struggle so much with this because what makes this content live is how impossible I am to figure out and that's even for myself, right? So I always tell people, you have no idea who you are, and it really makes people mad. But the truth is on a daily basis, we are like tags are in and out and we are, you know, even the wiring between the way those tags have relation to each other changes. And if something happens in your life, your entire identity can change over. night Say someone you love dies in a car accident. I had a good friend and a former employee commit suicide two weeks ago. it has rattled me in ways that I can't I'm like, I don't know what to do with this. Right. So when I go to podcast, suddenly those tags aren't there. My, my normal things, my normal like things that drive me that I can hang on to, that I can rely on they're on hold right now. And so, you know, that's kind of just an example of how those tags change in our identity changes really on a daily basis. And it's meant to, I think we are told as young kids that we need to become something and then we are that something, and that in of itself to me is so limiting Because, you know, similar to me trying out for this, this professional dance team, it would be so easy for me to say, oh yeah, I used to be once upon a time, I was right. Like we have this belief system that we can't go back to something like that, that we've achieved or we can't chase it, even though we haven't accomplished it. and so I'm going to just be totally flat with you here. I have no idea. Like I want to show up every day and show people that I am bizarre. I quilt. And I also figure skate. I play guitar and I also know how to run a front end loader. Like I don't make sense at all. In most parts of my life. So I feed my chickens in high heels. Like it's, I'm just all over the place. So, you know, that's not a very fun answer for the podcast, but I, it is a part of my content that I struggle with because you know, part of my brand is showing how like random it is when you're dealing with me.

Pablo:

I think that that is a, I tend to very adequate answer, man. Like, listen, I, I, one of the first quotes of Ralph Waldo Emerson that ever really resonated with me is his quote about consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds speak today. And hardware's what today brings in tomorrow. And hardware's what tomorrow brings. And that's always resonated with me. And now, now I'm like obsessed with this quote about like in my walks, every man I meet is in some way my superior and him that I can learn from them. Right. I've been, I've been booked to speak on personal branding now, like three times in the last two months, which I think is bizarre. and I've kind of distilled it down to, to me, branding is being memorable and being present. Right. And, and however, however you can, you know how, however you can thread that needle, man. Like some people I think need those bumper lanes, right? Like some people, if you're not going to show up very often, then you need to only be known for a certain couple of things. If you're showing up all the time, then guess what men just talk about what today brings, right? Like, you know, cause, cause your brand could just be that you're there all the time. It doesn't have to be a subject. It just means that you're consistent or, or, or it means that you're an extrovert or whatever it is. Right. Like you know, I I've, I've essentially boiled it down into that and it's like, how do you become memorable? So that every impression that you make you get the most. Longevity out of right. Like people ask me. Yeah. My, my first thing was like, I got known as like somebody that speaks about networking and a networking thought leader. And and like people would ask me, how do you follow up? I'm like, I suck a follow up, but I'm great at making a first impression. So I can write, I can hit you up a year and a half later with a phone call and you're gonna be happy to hear from me. Not because I emailed you two days later. so it's like, how can you be, how can you be memorable? And then how can you figure out a way to show up as often as possible? Be it you're in every room because you go to every party or because you're on social media all the time, or because you think about your friends in the moments that matter, and you're, you're hitting them up and sending them a happy birthday text message, or you remember their mother's anniversary of the day that they passed or whatever. Right. Like, and then, and then the third piece that if you really want to take it up and not just, how do you be a stage, right? Like how do you create your own content stream where it's not about you, but you can have other people on it. How do you become a podcast or how do you become a blog? Or how do you, you know, so like, I don't. I, I, I don't agree with this idea that you need to have. If you're selling something like your business, if you solve a solution, yes. You need a brand and you need to be known for like what space you need help. I think when it comes to personal branding, I don't think it goes beyond how can you just be remembered as much as possible and how can you show up as often as possible? And then how can you help other people? show up up

Bee:

Well, and it's so interesting. I have a, I have a mentor that really talks about consistency and showing up with that cadence of this is who I am that rhythm, right? This is who I am. This is who I am. So you're reminding your audience of exactly who you are and exactly what you can do for them. And that has really attached in me as a tag of, and by the way, see a tag. I don't naturally. P S I just told you, I'm like a million different people in one little box. but so like I'm wearing this tag that says you have to be consistent. You have to keep showing people who you are, you have to keep, and it's, it ends up being this mind cycle where you go into this overthinking mode. So now I'm wearing the tag or trying to wear the tag consistency, and also now wearing the tag over-thinker, as I'm like, this doesn't make sense and I'm struggling with it, and it doesn't, it's not working and I'm not clear. And it's so funny because I didn't think of this until we started this conversation. But my other mentor who says fill in the gaps that is more relevant. Like I need to flip those tags in my, in me with regards to personal branding, because all I really need to do, and maybe you can do some social proof here and see if I actually go and do it, but I need to fill in that gap to tell my audience, this is actually who I am. And so I'm not going to be consistent. My consistency is going to be inconsistency and that's that's that's okay. Right. And I think that's what you're saying about personal branding is finding that really unique space where you really have the power to speak to a really specific group of people and do it different. Like we don't have to go with the convention of all of these kind of marketed tools. And I think that's the hard part about being in this space that we're in is there are so many templates, poaching pro programs, and there's so many templates, you know, podcasters forums and different things like that. And I find this on clubhouse the most. So I love clubhouse. I think it's a great platform. I think it's filled a really unique need. However, there are days I'm on clubhouse that I just cringe because I'm like, oh no, that was so bad. That was such bad advice because we're also different. It can't be temporary. So I,

Pablo:

I totally agree, man. I was having this before the world melted. How how's that? A podcast and conference March 8th, 2020. And I was talking to this guy, that's built up this enormous platform for Amazon sellers, right? It's called like wizards of Amazon. And he's done really, really well as a community organizer. And the guy loves his community. He has impacted the lives of many, many, many people, you know, like, and he's, he was podcasting and he's like, dude, I'm podcasting. And I just don't really give a shit about asking somebody. So why did you get into Amazon? Let's not a question that's interesting to me, but that's what I'm told I have to do. And I'm like, right. Do what you like, bro? You know, like, like, think about, think about your community, succeeded in person to person is because you loved it. Not because you were doing something and don't expect to show up, you know, like the two things I told them, I was like, don't expect to show up in podcasting. And it's a feel like day, 1000 of community building face to face. It's going to feel like day one of community building face to face. Right. And then two, if you don't like it, it's not going to work for you, bro. You know, like, you know, why have a podcast, you know, like this isn't, don't just check a box. Right. So I really do think that people struggle with that. And what you're saying about clubhouse is true, right? Like I, I love clubhouse because it gives me what I got from going to conferences. I think clubhouse is a 24 7 conference with a million breakout rooms that I can just pop in and out of the network with people. Right. Like I love that shit. but it also, it also is a very low entry barrier stage where all of a sudden someone can get on a pulpit. And just because they're on stage, they say something in the brain. Justify as it as, oh, the, well, they're the one host in the room. So that must be true kind of thing. But there is a lot of this advice out there that's like, no, this is, this is the way you make a podcast succeed. This is the way that your Instagram should look to, to resonate. when really, I think it just comes down to how can you figure out how to be yourself as often as possible?

Bee:

Yeah. And it's hard. It's hard. Like it, for those who are listening, who have this idea or a brand or a mission or something, they want to build business a platform, it doesn't matter. You, you have no idea where to start. So you have an idea and you're like, okay, I'm going to go. And I'm going to hire this person to help me decide what those steps are. I need to take and it's necessary. Because you don't have a clue, you need some guidance. And the problem is you start getting that guidance and then the guidance becomes the person that you've hired to lead you in. And then suddenly your message is their message and not your message. And it starts to get confused and convoluted. And then all of your tags meet you there. And you're like, okay, I'm going to quit this because it's not working. This is not what I envisioned. I'm still not building what I want to build. And I have still all these insecurities. So you and I were actually in a clubhouse room together and there was a gal that jumped on stage and she said she was rattling off just conversationally. And this was not her problem point is what I'm trying to say. She said, and you know, I'm a perfectionist, so blah, blah, blah. And she rattled off. And three of us on stage picked out this word, perfection. And I think many of us feel that, that have been in this industry and that have created content. So somebody said, I think that perfectionism is just fear. It's just fear showing up and it's and you know, that's all it is. And then someone else said, I think that perfectionism is really just imposter syndrome. And I was like, oh my gosh, like, we are risking this girl leaving this stage with two more tags than she came with, you know, or like two extras now. So now she's got perfectionism fear and imposter syndrome and she's sort of like, okay, which is it is. And you know, there's confusion in that. And we, we do this when we give advice to people, I do it all the time and then I go, oh gosh, I have to step back and go, okay, hold on. What does, what is perfectionism? So she described it well, I want everything to look perfect. I want my social media, I want my Instagram feed to be really beautiful and aligned and all of these things. And she was a podcast. And so then I explained to her what my definition of perfectionism was or is, and it didn't meet hers. So I said, if, if my definition of perfection is that you put out quality content on your podcast, because that's where I'm meeting you every day. And your focus is being perfect on Instagram. You're actually not meeting, you're not meeting my needs as your audience. So how is your perfectionism serving you? And she was like, oh my God, you're so right. So in that moment, there's, it's, it's so hard though. Cause we don't take the time to stop and ask questions and you are such a fabulous questioner. My goodness. You're like host of the year for the podcasting here. but that's, what's important. And I think we need to get in more of the habit as a society of just stopping and listening to what people are really saying and then being comfortable going okay. Well, what about this? You know, let's go deeper into that subject. Cause that's when we really start having that human connection that you and I are so fond of.

Pablo:

I'm pretty sure you did. Number one. Thank you for that compliment. That is an incredible compliment, right? Like the, the, to be called a great question. Asker is kind of what I'm seeking in life. Right? Am I that's, that's how I want to be labeled as it was a, it's a learned trait, right? Like I, I think. I was more Huck Finn than anything else. I was more like, I know how to be entertaining and cool and likable, and I know how to get mine. And it was like in my early thirties, I had to realize, no, no, no, no, no, no. This ACE Ventura hook Finch stick will only get me a certain twist. It has a shelf life while being valuable to other people, by being interested in them is really where it's at. If I want to continue making as many friends as I'd like to have, but you literally just described the moment that I invited you on the podcast because you stopped that conversation. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's, let's stop. Let's talk. I'm just vomiting tags on this poor woman. And let's ask what is perfectionism to you and the way that you deconstructed that I thought fascinating. yeah, man, that was, that was really, really impressed with that. That, that literally was the moment. I think I sent you a

Bee:

uninvited that exact

Pablo:

moment. That's badass. Um, you ready for the lightning round?

Bee:

Yes.

Pablo:

All right. Cool. Uh, well, I already told you one question earlier. So first question in the lightning round is what is your favorite restaurant? Where is it? And what meal do you order?

Bee:

I love this. This is so funny. My favorite restaurant. and I think the reason it's my favorite now is because it's so hard to find it's Chevy's and it's a Tex Mex restaurant. they've closed. So like they were in Arizona and then they closed and then I used to be able to find them in Oregon and then they closed. So I just thought they didn't exist anymore. And we were in Orlando literally three weeks ago and I got to have Chevy's and I was like, my husband, the third night was like, we are not eating here again, but I get the chicken flour does. And they come with this like delicious, creamy, like some spicy Mayo sauce on top and then this like jalapeno jelly. Oh my gosh. It's heaven.

Pablo:

Heaven. I love that. That's awesome. Great, great one. what is the, what content are you most into, right. It can be Netflix and chill series. Does your, it can be what book you're most into. It can be what podcasts you listen to the most, like what content are you most into right now?

Bee:

So I am taking a content timeout right now, which is really, really hard for me because I am someone who I have a lot of friends in this industry who make a lot of amazing content. And I always want to be sure that I'm supporting them and encouraging them and pushing their stuff out. But I'm writing a book and I'm creating a daily podcast and I am struggling making sure my message is, is accurate for everyone. And I'm finding that all of the content I'm taking in is like too distracting. So I'm just on a content timeout or trying to be

Pablo:

all right. That was the first, that was the first person that says that. That's awesome. Cool. what is something that you were sure about in your twenties that you no longer believe.

Bee:

In my twenties. I believed that if I checked every box on the checklist of expectations that I thought led to happiness, that I would end up with a marriage that was brilliantly, happy, and super, super easy, and a successful business, because that was what was modeled to me. And that I would have a paid off home because I knew how to be financial financially responsible, like all of the, sort of the modeled things in my life that, that I just thought I was supposed to follow crashed hard. Like I did every one of them in record speed as quickly as humanly possible. And what I missed was you have to have the love and the connection and the heart center and similar values. And. You know, all of the relational pieces of, of all those components. And so when I, when I kind of ended up with all this brokenness, I was like, oh, so you can actually build a happy life on broken expectations. It's hard. It's very hard. But in my thirties now, I'm, I'm in a combined family system. Some people call it blended and we make our own rules. We don't do the co-parenting the same way that everyone else does. And we can't control how others in the system behave. And so a lot of that is letting go of control and realizing that your, you know, your life is going to change and adapt. And the responsibility for you is really like making sure that where you're fitting into that system feels good to you. And you're honored as who you are in that space.

Pablo:

That was awesome. That's officially going to be a piece of macro content and you're going to get a quote card that says you can actually build a happy life on broken expectations. That's beautiful, man. I really like that. What is the, either the best piece of advice you've ever gotten or what is the piece of your go-to piece of advice you'd like to give people,

Bee:

tear out the tags. So and I kind of wanna give you a little backstory on this. It is tear out the tags, so it's actually taking. That thing that hurts you and it's tearing it in half, it's actually losing it outside of you. So in my content, we will rip words in half. We'll remove them from us. We'll tear them off of our bodies. Like I'll actually come to you with a tagging gun, which sounds super scary. I'm S I sound really aggressive and I'll actually shoot you with a tag through your clothing with a tagging gun. Like, like I work at Walmart, right? And so the exercise that I take people through is really like pulling those tags off of them. And that like, hearing that snap of the, of the tag, a lanyard braking. But for me, my mentor taught me to lean out of the way of, there was one specific person that I was really, really used to picking up tags from. And I did an assessment with this person cause we work together. And this person would call me drama and childish and tell me to grow up and you know, all the things and what I've, what I realized when we went through this assessment was I am actually in the middle of objectivity, meaning I think both logically and emotionally, and this person who liked to really categorize me as a, a problem, a scent, overly sensitive, overly emotional person was actually on the feeling based side of their thinking. So they were sort of projecting their own heart-centered thinking onto me and making me the problem because they were trying so hard to hide their own tag in that category. So my mentor after, you know, helping me see that I wasn't actually what I had been called for so many years. He taught me to lean out of the way of anything this person said to me and I didn't. I did it for probably six months before it really started, like where I felt like a ninja, you know, it just would be automatic after a while. So he would say something crappy to me. And I would just like lean back, watch the, whatever garbage he was throwing at me, smash against the wall behind me. And then I would like coil back up and be ready to like, to, to have the conversation without letting the crap that he was feeling at me land. Cause that's where people catch us off guard. We let it land on them and they see it on our face. They see the recognition that it's there and that was the point. Right? So that's, that's in a long, long journey there. That's my advice to everybody.

Pablo:

I love it. I pictured you as like Trinity in the matrix, like dodging it. Totally. That's awesome. before I ask you the last question B what is, you know, I'm gonna. Linked to tear out the tags.com here in the show notes. I encourage anybody to like name your potty. I guess what I'm trying to say. This is promote whatever you're going to promote, right? Like promote your podcast, promote your website, wherever you want our friend that just hung out, thinking about how much their mind is blown based on all the cool stuff that you're saying. Like what's the best place to connect with you and, and, and, and move on and, you know, stay in your ecosystem.

Bee:

Yeah. So tear out the tags.com. You can find everything, you can find all the platforms we're on and all the, all the resources that we have. I promote conversation. So I would love to talk to you first and foremost. I do one free coaching every week. It's a two hour coaching, and it's just an opportunity for me to jump in and really connect with people. It is one of my favorite, favorite things to do. So that's, I'd love to hear from you. Is

Pablo:

that like a group coaching thing to go to that you can see on tour?

Bee:

And it books up way out in advance, and sometimes you have to wait several months to get to it, but

Pablo:

all right. Worth the wait. I'm sure. A B last question is where do you find community?

Bee:

Gosh, I'm like you, I find community everywhere, anywhere and everywhere we actually have. so my husband has a couple of his employees working on our barn cause we're converting it into an conference center and I just sometimes go out and just hang out with the guys. Like, so yesterday we went out and one of the, one of the guys was dry walling and I talked him into letting me wear his stilt thingies. Cause I was like, I want to see if I can balance on those. And I want to see if it's a workout. And so I'm just very pushy that way. I, I need people contact. So especially during a pandemic, like pretty much anyone who's in my like aura of space is probably going to end up in community with me, whether they like it.

Pablo:

I love it. I love it. Yeah. Was, is it that obvious that I find community everywhere too? You

Bee:

kind of, you kind of alluded to that before we started. Yeah,

Pablo:

totally, totally, man. I love it. I'm B I'm really glad we did this. Right. Like I, I was, I'm super impressed with how well thought out your framework is and, and, and how relatable it is and how profound it is and how unique it is. Right. So I I'm, I'm glad that we made space to, to dive into it further. This is like the typical moment of like, this is why you have a podcast, right? Like what else other opportunity would have had to like, pick your brain about it? I think you, a lot of the stuff you said today of all the way from the beginning of like the balance of male and female, To the importance of recognizing tags to, to, to how you evolve and how you're able to be vulnerable and, and, and like push through that stuff. It's just really, really valuable stuff. And I feel really, really fortunate to get to share that here and to get to hopefully call your friend in the near future. Cause I want to be your

Bee:

friend. So thanks. Yeah, no, I have to say thank you for seeing and hearing me because I think that's one of the challenges when you are starting something new is you don't feel like there's very many people who are willing to just meet you in a place of support and ask you the questions. And it's so honoring for me to be on a show where you're willing to ask deeper questions and you're willing to really see that there is value in this. So the thank you goes right back to you.

Pablo:

All right, right on